If you’re in a relationship with someone who struggles with attention, concentration, hyperactivity, or broader executive functioning challenges, you want to work with someone who gets it.
6 Ways ADHD Can Impact Your Relationship
Distracted Conversations. One of the most important ways couples move through life together is by sharing their stories, discussing important decisions, and so on. This requires sustained attention. If most of your conversations are fragmented or you’re often interrupted, your emotional connection can become strained.
Poor Date Planning. Dr. Matos recommends that couples share date planning across the lifespan. Executive functioning (EF) issues can make it difficult to initiate planning, make reservations, and follow through with planning generally. It may not be intrinsically rewarding, no matter how much your partner loves you, because planning multi-step tasks requires more cognitive energy than a neurotypical brain.
Emotional Unavailability. Those who are undiagnosed may be overstimulated, emotionally overwhelmed, and not know it’s because of how their brain works or strategies to manage better.
Emotional Disregulation and Conflict. Those with ADHD sometimes have negative self-concepts that contribute to overall emotional dysregulation in conflicts. For these individuals, fostering a culture of self-soothing at home will be especially important. Individual therapy may be beneficial to learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skills to do this well.
Distracted Parenting. If engaged in an understimulating task or situation, parents with ADHD (particularly those undiagnosed or undertreated) may be socially disengaged from their children.
Missed Appointments and Broken Commitments. Secure attachment thrives when your partner typically does what they say they will do. With those with ADHD, follow-through is a common issue. Trust can be broken. A sense of dependability and reliability can be lost.